she's never gonna fly to the top of the world... right now...

For a combination of reasons including hormones, tiredness, and not the least, PC "senioritis" I'm feeling a bit homesick. I don't know why, but I really miss my family. I guess it's natural. But my brother has really been on my mind. Maybe it's just that I know he is so very far from home, and while I know it is difficult for him, from everything I can gather (from newsletters) he seems to be very active and integral in his group and in the community he's in.

Jared and Erik left yesterday morning for two weeks. They are going
with our friend Sakoo (the guy excited about outdoor adventure and community
development) to a village for a week, then to Bishkek. Erik finds it
pretty humorous that the first time he's going hunting will be in KG. Our
team doesn't seem complete without them, and we look forward to their return but
we're also excited for this opportunity.

I chatted with Erik after he got back from this little excursion and found out that they went hunting and snow boarding. In the mountains of Kyrgastan. Amazing.

Maybe it's the overbearing, second-mother figure in me, or maybe this is what siblings should be like, or maybe I'm just excessively emotional, but these kids make me proud to tears. I can't wait to see what the next few years hold for our quirky kid sister...

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

From "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" performed by the Dixie Chicks, written by Radney Foster

"We live in our secure surroundings, and people die out there"

Most of us PCVs have at some point laughed about the giant tumors that many Bulgarians seem to have on their necks or faces. You see these big tumors and wonder what kind of abnormalities they might have in covered places or inside their bodies.

I met this older Bulgarian man who was so very friendly. He told me all about his family and his past. He told me that he had a son who had died of cancer when he was in his teens. He told me that many people died of cancer during those years from Chernobyl.

Is it possible that the high precedence of tumors and cancers are connected to the toxins spread 20 years ago? How many people across the former soviet block have gotten cancer as a result of the disaster at Chernobyl? Across Europe?

My friend Sarah is an English teacher in the Ukraine. She's told not to drink the water under any circumstances.

My mom has a good friend who moved to the Nashville area from Sarajevo, BiH (Bosnia and Herzegovina). When we where there, we visited her brother and sister-in-law. They had recently had a beautiful set of twins, after a very difficult pregnancy and an early delivery. My mom visited her friend recently and received very bad news. The sister-in-law, Ivana, has a baseball sized tumor on her rib. Mom's friend informed her that in BiH many babies get cancer, and of a baby who was born with cervical cancer.

Cancer every where, under any circumstances is devastating and disgusting. We wonder at the strength and courage of survivors. In America, and most of the developed world, we are so fortunate to have access to advanced medical technologies with which to fight these heart breaking and deadly struggles. But in countries only remotely developed, like those in Eastern Europe, not only do the not have the medical access to fight cancer as well, but they are not as well equiped to detect these ailments early and to fight it quickly, which we know is essential in the defeat against cancer.

What to me is especially sad, is that these people have so many other things in their lives to worry about. Many of you will never know how easy your life really is. If your greatest concern is the raise of gas prices, I won't feel sorry for you. Until you've had to get up at 4am to stand three hours in a bread line, until you spend your summer preparing for winter, until your family of four lives out of two rooms for six long months of winter, until your salary covers nothing more than your electricity bills, until your retirement payment is less than one meal at Cracker Barrel, I will not feel sorry for you.

Here's the sad part, I am aware of how very fortunate Eastern Europeans are compared to people in many other parts of the world. Central Asia is much worse off than here, and most of Africa is even farther behind.

I don't know why my rant against cancer led me to rant on world awareness... sorry

If you pray, please pray that this family doesn't lose a sister, wife, and daughter, and that those precious twins don't lose their mamo. And if you don't pray, find something you can do to help people less fortunate than yourself. And don't forget about the Bulgarian nurses and Palestinian doctor in Libya facing death for what is widely accepted as Gaddafi's scapegoat. Thank God, most of the nurses have family members who have recently received visas to visit them. Petition! Call your congressman! See what Amnesty International is doing! See if you can help save these people from dying at the hands of an unjust court. Please.

I would like to state my vision,

Life was so unfair.

We live in our secure surroundings,

And people die out there.

Bosnia was so unkind.

Sarajevo changed my mind.

And we all call out in despair.

All the love we need isn't there.

And we all sing songs in our room.

Sarajevo erects another doom.

Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo.

Bosnia was so unkind.

Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Saraje-

Bosnia was so unkind.

Sure things would change if we really wanted them to.

No fear for children anymore.

There are babies in their beds,

Terror in their heads,

Love for the love of life.

When do the saints go marching in? [X4]

Walk on tip toe...

"Bosnia" The Cranberries

With love to Kyrgistan

I chatted with my brother online the other night. He sounded a little bit down. I'm sure it's been difficult for him to be so far from home through the holidays. It was nice to hear him say that he missed me and to say some words that I knew he needed to hear. Sometimes people need to hear what they know, but circumstances have caused them to doubt. Somehow telling my ever smiling, always idealistic, optimistic, loving, endearingly clumsy, darling, huggable, kissable kid brother that the people around him need him and have surely come to depend on his cheery disposition and tall and dependable shoulder somehow made me feel better. But boy, it sure did make me remember why I miss him.

I have a sister too. I love her to pieces. She's eight years younger than me. I think she's a precious young lady. There's a big age gap between us. By the time I left, my brother had begun developing "grown up" opinions on issues. We had finally gotten to the point where we could discuss hot topics, deep issues, news, opinions. I miss his fiery, idealized perspective. With my sister however, when I left for Bulgaria, she really hadn't developed into her personality. There really wasn't much we could talk about except how funny Arrested Development is, or quote lines from Napoleon Dynomite to each other.

We're planning on her coming out here in June and seeing some of Europe together. I can't wait to have some quality time to get to know the young lady my sister has become over the next to years, to discover those qualities that she's grown into.

Can I get a plate of meat?

It is so difficult for me to believe that the last month has flown past.



After Thanksgiving, things at school kicked into high gear. Some of my ninth graders approached me about doing a fundraiser for the local старчески дом (old people's home). In a whirlwind of chaos, including a couple broken hearts, tired feet, improvisation, and a few tears, we managed to raise 500 leva from teachers and students from our school. We used this money to buy some very needed items for the starcheski dom. We planned out a darling little program to brighten the day of the residents, but in an act of Providence, the electricity went out not even half way through. So we improvised.



The whole process was exhausting but it taught me a lot. I learned that some students are naturally predisposed in certain tendencies, and when fostered those tendencies will grow. However, when ignored those tendencies pass away. Some times bad experiences teach children if they have a voice of wisdom. Too many students suffer from a lack of voices of wisdom. I recognized how children must be taught to appreciate what "elders" have to say. Children must be taught to follow instruction. Children must be taught to respect each other, teachers, and elders. These are not things that come naturally. Naturally, children, who then grow to adults, think only of them selves. Babies don't ask mommy if now would be a good time for a feeding. Toddlers don't ask politely to use the toilet. Children must be taught not to interrupt, to follow instructions, to speak with respect, to be generous, to be kind, etc. I pray that those children who have been taught these things will not get discouraged in the dissemination of these ideas.



Then for Christmas, I headed south!! I visited for the first time, my friend Chrissy and her family. Chrissy and her little boy moved this way when her parents decided to retire here. I found myself in a warm and loving home with lots of yummy food and hot drinks. For Christmas dinner I wound up with a bunch of British expats, discovering the intricacies of British food, like what exactly is triffle, and why Yorkshire pudding hasn't any pudding.



After Christmas I wandered up to Krichim to see the host family and other loved ones. I, of course had plenty of delicious and delightful 'gosti' (visits). I took one of my girls to Plovdiv for a lovely walk around, and got to treat her to a nice girls' day out. Like always, it was refreshing and fun to see the host family. But there is a bitter sweetness about going there. The awkwardness that transformed into amazing love hangs in every move, reminding all of us that our special relationship will be painfully altered in a matter of months now.



I returned to Razlog with a slew of company. Becca's parents stayed in a hotel while a good friend, Sarah Stiles and Becca stayed with me. The good times and hardy laughs abounded as we hung out together. New Years Eve, I cooked up a slew of tasty American food and we celebrated, the lot of us girls, plus Becca's 'rents and Arin. We then proceeded to the center to watch our lives flash before us as we huddled together protectively to shield ourselves from the fire speeding at us from every direction. New Year's Eve in the Razlog center includes both individual and state-sponsored chaos. Fire works rocket both vertically and horizontally. Entertainment is optimized by suavely tossing a little bomb into a group of people, or even better, a group of dancing people and seeing who discovers the bomb and who will be the last to flee. Also entertaining: hurling bombs at women with children, hurling bombs into the fountain causing an explosion of water, drunk men holding handheld bottle rocket launchers and see how low his arm droops before his less-drunk friend rescues him- or shall I say, rescues the rest of us from him.



Then I headed South!! to Greece. Sarah and I took an early train down to Thessaloniki, Greece. It was so amazing! Not only was it refreshing to be in a developed, English speaking, well organized, tourist friendly, warmer place for a few days, but it was so nice to count on having someone to laugh with for a few days. Sarah and I haven't really hung out in a while, and it's been even longer since we had those kind of side splitting laughs. From hamming it up with kids, to plates of meat, to luring street dogs on trams, we just had fun together. And having fun is a good way to refresh your soul when it gets trampled by the reality of life as a teacher in Eastern Europe.



Sarah and I arrived in Thessaloniki, found our hostel, checked in, dumped our stuff, and went hunting for a place to eat. We joked about just wanting some meat. We found this cute little road and on it was a tavern which looked quite closed. Apparently Greece celebrates the 2nd of January as a holiday as well. When Sarah peeked in the window to see if it was open, a sweet lady came and welcomed us in. She, in English, said her pub was in fact open and she had very good prices. She could make us some meat. Sarah and I crack up. Then ordered a couple plates of meat, some salads, some other random food, and two very tasty glasses of sweet, red Greek wine.

We spent over two days meandering around Thessaloniki. I found it to be beautiful, friendly, and overflowing with reasonably-priced shopping.
Here is where I was trying to insert some lovely pics, but I'm facing some technical issues.

After Thessaloniki, we took an afternoon train six hours south to Athens. There we again, easily found our hotel, which we found to be remarkably clean and comfortable given the very nice price. We wondered around Athens for the next two nights and days. My feet have never known such pain. But Athens was worth it. I was just astonished by how friendly people were.

While we stood in front of the Parthenon, in the Acropolis, high above the rest of Athens, Sarah and I joked about why anyone would come all the way to Greece to see this, when we have the whole thing still standing in Nashville, the "Athens of the South." Of course we were joking, it's astonishing to see something so huge, so incredibly massive and old!! Sarah posed the question, why is Nashville called the "Athens of the South" or had I just made that up. No, I didn't create that nick-name. And having been in Athens and Nashville both, the comparison makes sense. Not only are both cities known for their appreciation of culture and education, both are filled with great hospitality, warmth, beauty, and tasty food.
Although I got home and slept for over 12 hours, it really was a refreshing journey!

I'll try to get some pics up eventually.