I try to write with relative objectivity and decency for several reasons. My URL is on the bottom of my emails. That means folks like my CP, my BG language tutor, and everyone at the PC office has quick access to my blogche. Another reason is simply that it wouldn't be hard for one of my more advanced students to google me and happen upon my blog. I'm not here to make waves. Not that I'm necessarily opposed to that. But I'm going to say something that may be waveworthy. A PCV I know was recently reprimanded for some things on his/her blog, particularly a series of comments regarding a PC staffer. Now, in all fairness, PC was probably totally within their rights and I understand their action (although it's a tough pill to swallow). What kills me about this situation isn't that my fellow PCV was reprimanded for making these comments about the staffer, but that there is some other crazy talk on other people's blogs that is probably chalked up to exaggeration and frustration. Of course TEFLs are exaggerating when they talk of strangling kids or throwing them out windows, to name the most popular methods of theoretical torture. But, what if your darling student's English speaking parent happened upon that post? Okay, so they probably don't speak English... suspend your disbelief please. Disaster right there friends.
Anyway, for my fellow PCV bloggers reading this, tread lightly wherever ye may go! It's not news that our first lady, Mrs. CD checks on our blogches, but I'm pretty sure that the recent accosting of my friend has resulted in further exploration. Maybe it's just my blog, since I frequently posted comments on the forementioned PC-censored blog.
You all know I have and use StatCounter on my blog. I love love it when I can id an ISP somehow. Either because you've left a comment, or the title of your ISP, or sometimes the ISP has a town named with it. But there are a lot of ISPs I cannot id. I think I finally nailed down PC. On my StatCounter, it shows me where you came from, so if you got to my site from say, Jeremy's site, I'll know it. I do have a lot of hits from your site, btw Jeremy. Now, why would someone, not Jeremy use that site regularly as a jumping off point, unless you're him or family? It's your favorite site. OR, it's got a pretty comprehensive list of BG PCV bloggers. hmmm okay. Here's another interesting factoid I'll share with you, dear reader... There are two hits from a referring link in someone's C: drive. hm... Who's C drive is the question. Well, there's a hint comprised of a first initial and last name. Not just any last name, but a PC staffer. No darling, I won't reveal it. Nope, not even to you! EH! STOP ASKING! Now, to further support my belief that this particular ISP is PC: They have linked to my site from the censored blog and from the comprehensive list, as well as one other person's site, AND the "C:/Documentsandsettings/ [insertmysterynamehere]/ Localsettings/ Temporaryinternetfiles/ AmericaninBulgaria.htm"
You can make up your own mind.
Wait, so what was the point of this post? 1) To PCV bloggers: keep your noses clean. 2) See what a good sleuth I am? 3) I'm trying to decide if I should resent the fact that I'm getting checked up on. The bit of me with authority issues well resent it, yes. But I work for a big ole bureaucracy and I knew that all along.
In conclusion: get a statcounter and become a blogspy like me!
PS: a couple other blogspynotes:
hasarder, it's good to see you checking up on me again!!
i think it's funny in that not funny way that a person would use the reading of my blog as a replacement for direct contact. Are looking for reaction?. I mean, once a day for four days as compared to a couple times in a month? My subconscious tells me there is a corelation...
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14 comments:
Sprung!
Gotta love the site counter.
I've picked out a few bloggers I think (and you definately!). It makes me even more curious about them.
I feel I censor everything I want to write in case anyone finds it. It may look anonymous to you, but I worry that anyone close to me would pick my blog, because I'm not very good at being anonymous. I can fudge details, but I want to write from the soul.
For me, the internet is definitely a substitute for real contact with you!:)Actually, I told my partner it's kinda like having a penpal. But I get what you mean in terms of the people you do know in real life.
my question is this, how does carls wife have time to read alllll our blogs, why does it matter in the great scheme of things, and finally...how do you know so much about computer? they remain a great mystery to me. take care. enjoy sunday
sarah
hasarder: well, since you have a statcounter, you can see if your loved ones are actually on your blog! I was just mentioning to a PCV friend that the only way to be safe in what you blog is to be anonymous, or be ready to answer to employers, friends, family, and in my case, Big Brother.
Stiles: I'm sure she doesn't read all our blogs all the time. I don't know if she reads mine at all. I don't believe she is the sole source of PCV Blogocensorship. There's someone on the inside. I can see why it matters to PC - we do have the image thing to uphold. Or did you mean, why does it matter to me who checks my blog? That's a different question...
And finally, what I know, I've taught my self, love. I'm insanely smart like that. Oh yes, this poor sorry self-pitying girl just patted her own dern self on the back. Take that forces who doubt me! huh? i think my brain just had a seizure or something.
It's true that PC is within it's boundaries to censor anything that would defile or slander the program or the Bulgarians, and that yes, as more people are becoming blog-savvy, we need to realize that more people are reading them, and that, yes, they look to PCVs for some realistic views about where and how they live. PCVs know the rules when they blog. Public journals are public-there's a fine line between the truth and offending people, and when PC has to spend its time defending people--who will it be? Will it be the PCV who, as an American is within his/her rights to the freedoms bestowed upon him/her? Or will it be the Host Nationals within that country which PC resides?
And why does it matter?
Because when we submit, we become. PCVs are not placed in a country to "become" as PC attempts to portray. PCVs are different--and will always be and represent something different. When you stop representing what and who you are and how you feel, you submit to not changing anymore--to accept what is handed to you as a replacement for the real thing--for real feelings and real comforts.
A hard pill to swallow, indeed, but we all know that pride is one of the seven deadlies, don't we. There is no room in our throats for pride to linger--swallow the pill, wake up, and begin again.
I want to thank whoever wrote that last comment. Thank you for presenting a level-headed responsibile response. I went to bed last nite feeling angry about this whole subject. It comes down to a matter of responsibility. I deal with a lack of responsibility everyday among my students. It makes me down-right pissed when I see it in PCVs. Here's something interesting to read:
6. I behave as a professional colleague of my Bulgarian co-workers, of other PCVs and of Peace Corps staff, resolving any differences thru openness & respectful dialogue, avoiding gossip, rumor & personalization of any conflicts.
8. I am a co-owner of the PC BG public image along with staff, local colleagues & the 500 PCVs who have served before me.
Sound familiar? I hope so, it's the PC BG Volunteers' Professional Standard we all signed before swearing in. The rules are clear. So you stepped outta line and got caught, big deal. Take your punishment and move on. Please don't complain about it and back-bite.
Some people are hung up on the fact that PC is actually enforcing its rules. When we can't police ourselves, some one has to. I'm glad that PC had the courage to point out when something went wrong. It means that people are serious about our mission.
Remember we are all a team, we all want the same thing, we all want to work to make things better in this country. When we complain and air our personal grievances on an international platform, we only hurt ourselves. Let's not bring us down by attacking our own team mates.
I think it's pretty cool that we've got a little dialogue here. I agree with bits from both CBP, and the tsar. But I'm confused, tsar, did you read CBP's paragraph about submitting? and were those 'you's personal or generic, because I didn't write that whole post about myself in the third person. PC hasn't censored me... yet. Although I don't know why they would.
There's a line each of us with that indignant tint of individuality must draw that separates submission and cooperation. To some degree, by joining this entity we have elected to submit. How much of us submits? Our actions, our attitudes, our behavior, our writing?
It's not just a question of PC. It's being part of anything bigger than you. When do you choose to take that pill and hollar... ? I reckon when who you are can't be changed by swallowing the pill.
Is it pride that makes the pill hard to swallow? I was raised to believe that I was given my voice so that it might be heard. My opinions are part of who I am and are not meant to be stifled. I was also taught to temper truth with love. There's another fine line. Just because something is true does not mean we must declare it. But if it is something crying out from your soul to be spilled onto paper or computer keys, it's important. Being inflamatory or hateful will violate those professional standards and more importantly, not accomplish that which your voice was created for. However, in the case of my censored friend, I have to wonder although it may not be my place, if all the involved parties did everything possible to resolve the situation amicably AND at the heart of the issue. Or were the symptoms treated without offering a cure.
Oh, and Tsar, don't submit yourself to my little platform if it angers you. That's not healthy.
i could care less who reads our blogs, i dont write anything in mine that isn't for a wider audience. if ya want the whole story you'll have to ask me yourself. online journals aren't really the place to get really personal...
i was only trying to leave maegen a few comments (she always fusses at me for never commenting)
i wasn't trying to take this seriously or anything. and i meant, why does it matter to maegen....
Stiles
The "you's" were general. Don't worry, it wasn't meant to be personal.
In the case of the censored blog, the person was offered an ultimatum after a committee met to discuss the situation. No issues were discussed. The email to the PCV was sent with clippings from the blog that were offensive, the professional standards, and the mission statement of the pc. I think what was said may have been true, that a tight tourniquet was tied around the affected limb to stop the bleeding. I don't think pc wants to know where it comes from (referring to the heart of the problem) because it would possibly reveal a darker side of a many-sided issue and the gash that keeps festering and deepening, never being treated, just tied tighter to keep the blood from showing. People should be allowed to write from their soul (as stated by hasarder). In the case of the blogger who was censored, there obviously is/was a problem between the situation he/she is in and between pc staff.
A couple of questions for Tsar-
How many times have you been encouraged to work as a team member?
Do you feel like you are part of a working team?
Did your Bulgarian colleagues sign that and agree not to exploit you or that which you offer them?
When you have interactions with PC, do you feel like you are treated fairly? Do you feel like your Bulgarian colleagues are treated fairly by them?
Do you receive as much as you give? Do you give as much as you can? Does your team participate?
And you/we must remember (again--all my you's are general) that voicing on a public platform is asking for help. It is an arena for people to have discussions and to air the laundry because there are problems that maybe people look for advice or help with. If someone called you and spewed all of what was said on the blog, would you turn them away or hang up on them because they were having a moment of rage or irritation they needed a third party to help them work through?
Do we judge simply on the basis of one sentence in one grand scheme of a story without asking for more details or even knowing that person or what he/she is going through professionally, personally, physically?
I don't like having an argument with someone who won't say who they are but I think this is an important enough issue. We are more than just individuals here in Bulgaria. We are here as United States Peace Corps Volunteers. I don't know about you, but I take that title very seriously. I am very proud to be part of this organization. We are part of an organization within the US government that we can actuallu be proud of. When we take that title upon ourselves, however, we also take on responsibilities. We represent our organization and our country. When we air our dirty laundry, through personal attacks and personal gripes, we dishonor ourselves, our organization and our country. This may seem like some heighty-flighty idea, but it is true. If you don't like what is going on, be an adult and talk with the person one-on-one. If that doesn't work, go to their boss. If that doesn't work go to *their* boss. If the problem is "the heart," then quit(Again, all this is a general "you"). There are plenty of people (like me) who while we may be having a difficult time here try to work within the perimeters we are given. Please don't make the rest of us look unprofessional and JV.
I was just wondering where “the Tsar” gets his capes laundered.
Standing on top of the world I can almost see it flapping in the wind.
Good luck saving the world superman.
"super volunteer" nominations are just around the corner.
alright. in all fairness, i say it's respectable that the tsar hasn't lost his optimism. I say, if you can do your job, being optimistic about it is simply a plus. I don't know what the tsar is talking about specifically, airing laundry and personal attacks. If my laundry isn't fresh then it needs to be made fresh. Isn't that why we air things? We shouldn't be criticised for taking off our rose colored glasses. More power to those of you who work better with them on, but some of us just don't operate like that. And for this PCV, I will continue to diplomatically and gently tread upon the ground that is full of pot holes and boobie traps. Forgive me if I am not all the while smiling.
Super-volunteer, I'm not. And I don't own a pair of rose-colored glasses. Anyone who really knows me, I am given to despair just like the next person. But I think that this organization is more important than our individual despairs. You got a problem, go through the appropriate channels to get it fixed, don't bitch about it.
PS. this insulation that being optimistic is something to be mocked is part of the problem we have as volunteers. I know we can't all be happy and sing-songy, but if someone is trying to be optimistic, don't attack him for it. Maybe that's how *he* copes.
PPS. If there is a supervolunteer, he doesn't get his cape laundered: he wears it for 3 weeks and then uses a taban.
One little mistake: "insulation" should be "insinuation." I do not have a problem with insulation; in fact, I could use some right about now...
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