You've just gotta laugh sometimes...

It takes a sense of humor.  I laughed then, and I am laughing now.  

I have this one student.  He can speak English very well.  He has a very good handle on grammar and vocabulary.  The problem is, he’s what we’d call in America a ‘special needs’ student.  I’m not saying he’s retarded, handicapped, learning disabled, or any thing else.  He just doesn’t learn like most students do.  I don’t know if it is chemical, psychological, physical, or otherwise.  But he wears me thin!  He is in an advanced class and is in the 11th grade.  

I’ll give you a few examples.

1.  Early on in the semester, I asked the class what they did over the weekend.  My student, we’ll call him Fred for anonymity, says, “We were smoking, drinking, f**ing.”  I pretended he said nothing and moved right on.  After class I told him in no uncertain terms that the f bomb is NOT to be used in class.

2.  Today, Freddie was is rare form.  It’s not so unusual for him to be hyper.  But today…  today was something else.  Is it a full moon or something, because all my kids were bouncing off the walls today!  I even got a little giddy.  Anyway.  Class started with Fred being hyper and talkative.  I can usually look at him and ask him politely and quietly to be quiet and he will zone out for the rest of the class.  Today however, he wanted to talk.  He asked me if I’d ever seen some movie.  I tried to ignore him and talk over him.  I tried to ask him calmly to be quiet.  I tried to get him involved thus distracting him from his mischief.  All to no avail.  His next adventure was to take a bottle of water and drink from it.  No big deal right?  Well Freddy darling wanted to drink without hands.  So he holds the water bottle in his mouth with his teeth, tips his head back, and gulps away.  He brings his head down and spills water from the sides of his mouth.  Students laugh.  Fred repeats.  This time, he really is gulping away at the water.  As his head is tilted back, water spills down his face.  This is funny.  Students laugh.  Fred laughs.  Fred spews water out his mouth and nose.  He then dumps the water bottle.  I “suggest” that he go and dry off.  He shows me a pack of tissues, as if to say, “I can dry off right here.”  “No, go on, go dry off.  You don’t have to come back.”  He came back.

3.  Freddy comes back and decides he’s got more energy than ever.  Before heading to his seat, he joins me on the teacher’s platform.   He asks if I’ve seen Texas _____  (he said some other word, but meant Massacre).  I correct him on the title of the film and tell him that I have seen it.  He asks me if I would like for him to bring a “rrrrrrrrrrrrr” to school and “rrrrrrrrrrr” me.  All the while he is showing me how to handle a chainsaw and what he would do with it.  When I asked him very seriously if he was threatening me, he calmed down and went to is seat.  (right, like you’re gonna rrrrrrrrrr me to death mister big shot)  The wave of calmness subsided and in a burst of energy he proved to me his power.  He rises from his seat and lifts the desk (a desk for two) above his head.  All of the books and notebooks fall to the floor.  He walks toward me with the desk.  I stand up and yell at him.  He puts the desk down and sits down.

4.  Freddy is in his seat and tearing into a bag of the most disgusting smelling not so cheesy cheesy-poofs.  Although the rest of us are discussing phrasal verbs that you would use in telephone conversations, something very interesting to them (or seemingly interesting, since they all participated), Fred thinks that a conversation about dinosaurs is appropriate.  He asks me if I believe in dinosaurs.  “They exist now, did you know?  I am a dinosaur.  I am a velasoraptor.  Grrrrrraaaarrrrghhhhh.”  All I can say is “mmmmm” with a twisted mouth.  He then puts the whole bag of cardboard-poofs in his mouth, takes a couple of chomps and spews the whole mess out.  Plastic, cardboard-poofs, and freddysaliva goes all over the place.  Again, I suggest he goes to clean up and not come back.  However, he comes back.  Snap.

Somehow we made it through the rest of the class and got through the exercise.  I don’t know how.

My eighth graders were crazy today as well.  I couldn’t do anything with them.  But somehow, all of the craziness of today made me laugh.  I couldn’t get angry that my eighth graders were chucking chalk across the room, painting the windows, or snapping each other with rubber bands.  I ended up confiscating the rubber band and had a very good time threatening them with it.  Although this only furthered their excitement I continued.  Why?  Because it was funny.  Or fun.  I don’t even know the difference between these two words any more.  

I’ve lost my mind.  7 more school days till Christmas break.  6 if my school strikes.  Actually, I have three hours with my wacky but lovable eighth graders and they know I cannot strike.  They have also told me that they have one hour with another teacher who will not be striking.  So, it looks like I’ll still have my classes on Friday.  I’m thinking about asking to rearrange my schedule though, so they aren’t all spread out.  We’ll see.