Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Thank God I Still Have a Home!!

Wednesdays are my late days. I don't have class until 10:30, so I can sleep in, then make myself a cup of coffee. I of course did this today, since it's Wednesday. I turned my little burner to it's only setting, high, made my coffee, and turned it off. Went about my morning business, and went to school. After school I had my English for teachers class, then I tutored one of my students. I got home a bit after four. When I walked through my front door I thought, "That's funny, it smells like my baba is baking, but why didn't I notice it downstairs, and why would she be baking when her brother died today?" I realized after walking into my room that the smell was from my stove. I don't know how I managed to do it, but my big burner had been on high all day. EKE! There was a frying pan on the oven with nothing but a wooden spoon in it. Thank God I hadn't left a towel or something on the oven! I can't imagine burning my house down!

I was scolded for not kindly receiving Valentine's day greetings with zest yesterday morning. While yes, I can see the rudeness in not accepting someone's well wishes. However I had just rolled out of bed. I mean, I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet! You know, I realize I'm not the nicest person in the world. Far from it really. But I won't make apologies for being real. I have, over the years of "growing up" gotten a better grip on my tongue, although I'm no where near controlled. I just have this compulsive need to make sure people understand how I feel. If I don't want to have a happy Valentine's day, I'll tell you. If I don't think I really do have nice hair or if I don't feel pretty today, I'll "bah" in the face of your complement. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but let's face it, if I'm cranky I'm not gonna want your niceties.

I feel bad. I should be more considerate. I should come out of my bubble and accept what's given to me and be grateful for the kindness in the hand that blesses me. I should be grateful rather than make them focus on my mood. It's not all about me, remember?

I busted out my YakTraks this week. There's been snow on the ground for a week and a half. As it thaws for a moment, then refreezes, it becomes slippery ice. It looks hideous, those green things around my black boots. But I'm not slipping around anymore. Quite stable actually.

That's all I've got for today. Oh, mommy, I reckon they were from TJ Maxx or Goodie's or some place like that around the first of March, extra cheap. I'm out playaz!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

actually accepting compliments is really hard sometimes. i always think, not possible, what are you tryin to get out of me, which i realize is not the healthiest way to view people... and dont ever apologize for being real. we should all strive to live more authentic lives and let others know how we are feeling...

have a great weekend,

Sarah

ps. i am glad you still have your home too! i tooo have done really stupid things involving my heaters and oven and honestly every time i come through unscathed, i am so thankful! and they wanted to give me a wood stove?!?!? that would have been a disaster...