footrubs

So, I had a fabulous foot massage today. Actually, most of me had a fabulous massage today. But I got to thinking. This lady rubbed my feet fabulously (fabulous fabulous fabulous), but I just felt like it was missing something.

Perhaps I think I can rub feet better than she can, I wouldn't know, because one can't effectively rub his or her own feet. Perhaps this thought brought about a line of thought that stirs up some nostalgia.

What do you think of when I mention foot rub? Me? My mom. I can't remember for how long I've been rubbing my mom's feet. She taught me how to rub feet sitting at the foot of the couch. She taught me how to rub hands sitting in church, bored out of my mind.

When was the last time I got a foot massage, besides today? I cannot remember. The last time I gave one? That was a tough day. I spent a lot of time with a friend and his family. I think that day was the day I realized the whole mess was going to be painful. I had good times with friends. They begged me to sleep at their house. I got my escort home. We watched some Turkish TV and somehow I ended up rubbing feet. Ugh. gross beh! I don't know what possessed me. Perhaps it was the promised reciprocal hand massage. Perhaps it was the one or two rakiki... Anyway, not too long after that, I was crying in my host sister's arms with my replacement sitting at the computer thinking, "is this what Bulgaria will do to me?" I think that was the moment I understood that my mess would hurt. Laying on the tiny bed with my host sister crying, "my heart hurts me" is never a good sign of things to come. But, this is life, pain and all...

"You don't see where you are

And if you don't look back you know you'll never know

Cause you think that you've been living, just treading water

And waiting in the wings for the show to begin

But I always see you searching

As you try that bit harder

Getting closer, oh yeah, to the life you're imagining

(I just know your life's gonna change)

Maybe not today, maybe not today

Some day soon you'll be all right

(I just know your life's gonna change)

Don't turn the other way, turn the other way

Feels like luck is on your side"

(Simon Webbe "No Worries")