Review

I need to review some events and ramble for a bit.

1. I forgot to mention that the pics I posted this morning are thanks to Arin. It's also thanks to Arin that I had a fabulous experience. I cannot thank him enough for taking at least half the time we had to teach me the basics of skiing. By the end of the day I was only a little bit challenged by the basic slope. I was ready to move on to the next level.

2. I'm sore beyond comprehension. It's been a long time since I've been so sore everywhere. I mean, I've had good work outs that left me sore in maybe an entire region of my body. But I can't remember the last time I was so sore so nearly everywhere. I slept till 9ish this morning. The boys got up and left around 10:30. I ate a bit and sat down to watch TV. I fell asleep until 2pm. I mean ASLEEP. Yesterday my muscles ached, my bones ached. The nerves in my knees felt as though they were about to rip apart.

3. I'm proud of myself. Not only for skiing (I'm not much of a sporter, so it is a big deal for me), but also for a large personal accomplishment. I had no idea what to expect this weekend. Part of me feared that the barely rational anger would resurface and I would ruin the fun for everyone. Part of me feared I would be weak and allow the pretence that everything is okay and normal, that we are copacetic and amicable. Neither really happened. At one point, my goal was mutual toleration. I got to the point at which I thought amicability was possible. Now I know and am pleased that this is true. Some things get broken and can't be made into the shape they formerly were, but sometimes, with work they can be good for something. Sometimes you don't have to throw away all the pieces because they no longer fit the original mold.

4. I am so excited that next weekend I'm going to see my friend Lucia and hang out with some other Americans for a while. We are going to eat our best attempts at Chinese food, and celebrate the start of a new year. I guess every day is a new year right? January 1st is simply administrative friends.

5. I lost one of the earrings my mom gave me as a graduation present. When I woke up this morning, I realized it was missing. I was so upset! A couple hours later, Ned found it on my bathroom floor. Thank God.

6. I just realized the inside of my hand is sore! Like, my thumb! From holding the ski poles. eek!

7. I am really sad to be missing out on the lives of my family stateside. My brother and sister are still teenagers. They are such brave and insightful kids who seem to really want to live full lives. I wish I was there helping them in whatever ways I could. I also miss my dog to a ridiculous degree.

8. I tried making chocolate pudding cake for the second time in this country and again, it did not turn out right, but because NO ONE (neither Bulgarians nor Americans) knows how it should be, it went over well. I again doubled the batch and baked in a pan that was not deep enough, so I had to pour out the gooey part and let it bake. Then I warmed up the gooey part before I served it. Everyone liked it, but it was NOT my mom's hot fudge pudding cake.

9. It's "songs that made them famous weekend" on MTV. Was Farrell Williams in a group called N*E*R*D?

That's all I've got for now kiddos. I may eat 3 day old "brownies" (THEY ARE NOT BROWNIES) and fall back asleep. I have a crazy amount of papers to grade, but that won't take too long. And to be honest, my kids will totally accept the excuse that I was skiing and then so exhausted from skiing. They're pretty cool like that. I like my kids, and I'm proud of them. Even the "worst" class is pretty good. I know I'm blessed. In a lot of ways, I'm blessed. Thank God.

"Illusion never changed into something that is real... You're a little late, I'm already torn." (Natalie Imbuglia song)