"What good is much discussion of involved and obscure matters when our ignorance of them will not be held against us on judgment day? Neglect of things which are profitable and necessary and undue concern with those which are irrelevant and harmful are of great folly. We have eyes and do not see. What, therefore, have we to do with questions of philosophy? He to whom the eternal word speaks is free from theorizing..."
"Oh God, You who are the truth, make me one with you in love everlasting. I am often wearied by the many things I hear and read, but in you is all that I long for. Let the learned be still. Let all creatures be silent before you. You alone speak to me. The more recollected a man is and the more simple of heart he becomes, the easier he understands sublime things for he receives the light of knowledge from above."
"On the day of judgment, surely we shall not be asked what we have read but what we have done, not how well we have spoken but how well we have lived"
Chapter 3 "The doctrine of Truth"
This chapter concerns the value of right living compared to estimable knowledge. I am very weary of Christians who use this argument as an excuse to be ignorant. It is exhausting and saddening to think of all the Christians who are knowingly ignorant so they can claim to be "unworldly." There is no excuse in ignoring the world and it's problems. Jesus begs us to love the world and all it's inhabitants. God has ordained us to be keepers of the world we live in. This requires us to understand the problems of societies and nature. This requires education. However, there is a risk in making education the end. We risk getting too caught up in the education for it's own sake, losing the goal of that knowledge - to be good stewards of the world in which we live.
I've been reading and listening to some folks on the liberal end of Christianity, folks like Rob Bell, Rick McKinley, and Donald Miller. These are guys who are tired of a brand of Christianity that is so caught up in theology, dogma, and legalism that it can no longer see for the log in it's own eye. Hearing these guys is killing me. When I sat in my cozy home in America, I thought my Peace Corps service would be the "hands and feet" kind of thing that Jesus demonstrated. Now I sit in my cozy apartment in Bulgaria and wish for ways to do the "hands and feet" stuff. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Peace Corps Bulgaria is where I'm supposed to be right now. So many things have happened here that are, well, appointed. But I am still left with this deep, "there's gotta be more" feeling inside.
I know there are many PCVs right now that are disgruntled to say the least. A lot of us TEFLs are burnt out from spinning our wheels, going through the motions, playing teacher. Where's the social change factor? I understand we should be taking small steps in a big picture, but... It's like we're taking small steps in a water color, and the big picture is in oil. The two just don't seem to lend anything to eachother.
When we were still new, still in our training groups, I remember getting into a big argument with someone about the whole, "making a difference" issue. I distinctly remember feeling like nothing I was about to do would make a difference on Bulgarian education. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely disenchanted yet. I believe that there is unlimited potential in every child, and our merely being here and available might show them their own value and unlock a desire for English that will open doors for them in the future. But that's not all we are here to do as TEFL PCVs in Bulgaria. Part of our job is to help foster English education among Bulgarian teachers. Now, we aren't skilled in pedagogy, so I wonder if we are even qualified for this. It seems to me that Bulgaria needs more teacher training PCVs and fewer TEFL PCVs... Am I rambling? Sorry. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think the Peace Corps TEFL program is living up to it's potential in Bulgaria. AND, I really need to find a way to be some "hands and feet"
Enough rambling and random internet surfing for one day...
Oh, notes to Americans who love me. Send books, CD's, DVD's. Puhleeeese! And I just want to thank my mom, Susan, and Cathy for their lovin! These ladies hardly know me but send me stuff (except mom, of course).
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