Tennessee

I was not born in Tennessee. I don't know if I'd like to live there for the rest of my life. When we moved there I was traumatized. Of course, I was a 13 year old drama-queen, so everything traumatized me. But moving 3000 miles from the area you were born in, from your friends and family, from everything you know to be normal is a big deal.

When we moved, I did not make a significant effort to "integrate." At first, I wore the same green sweatshirt to school everyday- a sweatshirt my dad had bought me from the university he'd gone to, and where I took music lessons. Later, in high school, the band director called me "California girl" or just "California." While, this was realistically because there were so many of us in the band and he needed to use nicknames, it reminded me that I was different. My teachers asked me where I was from. They told me they knew I wasn't local because when I said "pen," it only had one syllable. I argued with my best friend, trying to convince her that "mirror" had two syllables.

I've had plenty of discussions about the south, and southern speech. And now I'm here to admit it. There was a time when I too was ignorant and uniformed enough to think that just because someone said they "might could help me" rather than they "might be able to help me" did not mean they don't know how to use modal verbs. For a long time I refused to speak "Southern" because I thought it sounded stupid. Nearly everyone associates a stereotype to an accent or dialect. I often wonder what other Bulgarians think about people in my little region.

Turns out, I just wanted to distinguish myself. I wanted people to know that I was different. I am not from here. But I got over that. I grew to love middle Tennessee, to recognize the benefits of the area and the people. I also went away to university and heard all these different types of pronunciation and recognized that we all have accents, and they have no reflection on our personality or intellect. So I gave in. I became from Tennessee.

If you are from or know anything about the south, particularly Tennessee, you'll 'perciate this little forward. -The last three are my own personal additions.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN Tennessee:

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Tennessee.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
"Onced" and "twiced" are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
"Fixinda" is one word.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.
We do like a little tea with our sugar!
"Backards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."
"DJeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM Tennessee IF:
You measure distance in minutes.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use "fixin'" as a verb and a noun. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store." or "We're having hamburgers and fixin's for supper."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You know what a "dawg" is.
You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car and a rope in the event you'll be needing a tow after a spell.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin'" or off to "Wally World."
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed... if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
A "mess" has nothing in common with "a mess of food" or a "mess of trouble."
You BLEED ORANGE.
You shamelessly wear black and gold even though Vandy hasn't won anything 'ceptin that last game 'gainst Middle.