"get on over to the other side!"

Can you tell me, what does it mean to “get over” something?

I just watched a rather cliché film about soldiers returning to Iraq. But it moved me intensely because it asks the question, “how?”

When nothing seems right, and everything seems backward, we find ourselves first asking why. Why did it happen? Why him? Why me? Why now? Then we ask how.

Some people ask, “How do I get through this?”

Others ask, “How do I get over this?”

Can you tell me, is there a difference? What is it?

Perhaps you aren’t interested in the minuscule details of the sentence. But to me words are life. Words are logic. Logic is reason. Reason is what makes us human. Reason and logic is why we are higher life forms. Reason is the image of God in us.

In this film I watched, several soldiers came back from Iraq to the same small town. One came back in a coffin. One came back with out her hand. One came to find himself replaced at work. One guy’s girlfriend wouldn’t speak to him. And one came back to a son who hated him.

They were all expected to get over what they had experienced.

So they each dealt in their own unique ways. Stop trusting. Develop an alcohol problem. Become exceedingly violent, take some people hostage and get yourself killed. Go back to war.

Some people got over and some people got through.

So, what is the difference?




You have been walking for miles. Days. You have been walking in a dark forest with perils worse than those of your nightmares. The pain in all of your limbs is so intense that your body has entered a state of shock in which the pain is now a throbbing numbness, like your reasoning skills.

You find yourself at a river.

The river marks the end of the forest and on the other side is a place stunningly similar to the place you once called home.

The river, however, is wildly dangerous. Rapids. Boulders. It is at the bottom of a deep ravine.

You look to the north and notice a deer trail. You could attempt to descend into the ravine on the deer trail.

You look to the south and realize there is a brand new bridge crossing the river ravine.

What do you do? While risking your life on the trail and then crossing the river does sound noble, it would be exceedingly stupid considering there is a perfectly safe bridge. So you cross the bridge and return to the place resembling home.

You made it through the forest. The forest left its mark on you. It scarred you. It might have ripped parts of you to shreds. But you made it through and are changed because of the experience. You have wisdom and warnings to share with others. You have become stronger and more confident. You now know how to handle forests.

You simply got over the river. You did not drink of its waters or face its threats. The river left no mark on you and you left no mark on it. You avoided it and are ignorant of what lies within it.

When you get through, you learn and grow.

When you get over, you simply avoid.

I will not, with respect for myself, my God given responsibility to increase in wisdom, and for the lessons to be learned, simply “get over” anything which holds within it any potential for positive, no matter how difficult that positive is.

And with respect to other people, I will not ask or expect them to simply get over their crisis. I will challenge them to face the demons of their forests and to search for the lessons and the increase.

This is life. Every day, every moment is an experience for us to tackle and get through. It is not a bridge to the next better moment. Life can be a series of answers to questions which create more questions; always adding wisdom and curiosity and unquenchable thirst for truth and meaning. Or, life can be a series of bridges which consistently avoid the pain and the beauty Creation holds within it.

Will you get over or will you get through? Will you expect your neighbor to get over, or will you help him to get through?