Maegen Endert's List of Failures, Summer '05

Summer Project Report ‘05
Maegen Endert’s List of Failures, Summer ‘05
How to have a crummy summer

As presented to the TEFL staff of US PC Bulgaria, enjoy…

     It had been my intention to assess the needs and desires of my school and community before developing any type of project.  My hope was, at the least, I would be able to teach over the summer.  After arriving in Razlog, my counterpart and I began discussing projects that I could be involved in over the summer.  Over the course of the summer several ideas were discussed; some even began.  However, nothing seemed to work out.  These “failures” have been vital in my education on the culture and climate of my community.  I use the term failure loosely here, because I have failed to produce a reportable project, but I have not failed to use my summer as completely as I could.  These words are the story of my summer…

     It had been determined that my task should be to search online for cultural exchange projects in which the research had been completed and our school could become involved.  The goal of these projects was to obtain moneys in order to purchase books.  For several days I was asked to work on this task in the computer lab at school.  I quickly determined that with out the help of interested students, this is not a feasible project.  Furthermore, I assessed that this is not a project that can be completed in one summer.  

     The director of my school, Mrs. Mariana Popodina, suggested that I begin teaching English to the teachers.  I informed her that I would very much like to be teaching and would begin as soon as she wanted.  As I was at school daily, I began to talk about this class with the teachers on duty.  Some seemed eager to learn English, but when asked when they could have class, they would not give me a convenient time or day.  Others indicated they had not been made aware of this class.  The director informed me in mid-August that she would like for me to begin teaching on September 1, 2005.  This class was canceled however, due to the hectic nature of this time of year.  

     In July, my counterpart decided that I should design a website.  Because of communication difficulties between us, I was not clear if she wanted an English Department site, or a site for the school.  She did not know if the school already had a site.  I inquired as to which students she had in mind for such a project.  She said there are some students from her class who have quite advanced computer skills and had scheduled a meeting with them.  At this meeting were two boys from the 10th class.  It was conducted entirely in Bulgarian and lasted about ten minutes.  When I noticed the meeting was wrapping up, I asked what was going on.  I was informed that these boys would work on the website.  I asked if they would be coming to school so we could work on it together.  The plan was that the boys would work on it together in their homes.  I would later help with translation.  After two weeks, I asked Yulia, my counterpart, how they are doing.  She informed me that the boys did not have a program with which to design this site.  I told her that if we could use the school’s computer lab it would not be a problem.  She did not think that was a feasible option.  At the end of the summer Yulia informed me that one of the two boys had worked very hard on a website and was quite angry at her for “abandoning him.”  
     Outside of school, I’m afraid my limited contacts here inhibited my community involvement.  Through the wife of my landlord, I met the counterpart of Chad Dahlman, one of the two other PCVs in Razlog.  Chad works for a non-profit business center.  I stopped by there several times to use the internet and always offered my help in whatever way possible to his counterpart.  I was told, as it is summer, the students that normally come in to use the English language programs would be quite difficult to organize.  Harmonie Bettenhausen, Chad’s wife and a YD PCV, was also quite busy all summer.  She welcomed my involvement in her programs once school started, but through the summer she would not be working that much with them either.  My counterpart, Yulia, while quite familiar with Razlog and the school, has only lived here a bit over a year.  While I did not see the significance of this at first, after living in Bulgaria, and particularly Razlog, the importance of making “connections” has become increasingly clear.  
     It seems that most of the problems I encountered this summer were a compilation of poor communication and a lack of follow through.  I feared being annoying, so I perhaps allowed spans of time too large between my inquiries, or simply asked too infrequently.  My counterpart, on the other hand, was suffering under a huge burden of stress that she only shared with my once school had started.  At the end of the long weekend we recently had, she appeared quite tired and stressed.  When I asked about her weekend and time spent with her family, Yulia informed me that her father is dying from a cancer that has metastasized and is poisoning most of his vital organs.  This would explain why she had been so distant and, in my perception, unreliable through out the summer.  
     Now that summer is over and school has begun, I am able to reflect on the summer, on what I wish had gone differently, and what I might do differently now.  I am becoming increasingly aware of the role my school would like for me to play.  At this point, it seems they are grateful for my ability to speak English with their students, but all of the teachers are very busy and quite reluctant to give up any of their time to help me.  I wish I had known earlier that I would have to “plow my own road” here.  Although I do not know if that knowledge would have had a very large impact on my “success” this summer, as my connections and Bulgarian language ability were, and still are, not good enough to integrate into this community entirely on my own.  Although I am still utterly confused as to how to go about effectively communicating my professional ideas and requesting help, I have learned my “southern sensibilities,” a.k.a. politeness, or without the euphemism, vagueness is not the answer.  My fear is that in this “high context culture” I will over step my bounds in my need to communicate, be understood, and seek help, thereby loosing my respectability as an educator.   Now that I am in the classroom and working with my students, I can begin to gauge their needs, not only linguistically, but also in this community, a vital aspect as they will play a vital role in the future of this nation.