ucky day good day

I got a package of books today. And some pictures. My brother's senior portraits. One picture taken just a few days before I left the sweet motherland- some kiddie portaits, by that I mean me and the kids. Teehee. Me and my brother and sister. A picture of Erik shaking his principal's hand, wearing that bright blue robe. Ah, graduation.

Back to the books. A few books from my mom. I'd asked her to send me a couple books I had at home, The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis and Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. I just had a cup of coffee, so I may end up reading all of Elliot's book tonight. I've read it once before, but that was at a very different time and place in my life, physically and spiritually. It's not the most intellectual book I've ever read (and that's saying something if I'm saying it), but it's such a great romance, and so honestly written. Here's a little quote: "Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all... But the things we feel the most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God." I'm crummy at that. Absolutely crummy. I have this deep need to be understood, not just to talk and comunicate, but to know that someone truely understands me. The more people the better.

I'm for sure going to observe lent this year. Turns out you're supposed to fast on Ash Wednesday, not eat meat on Fridays, don't have to do the "giving up" on Sundays, and on errr Good Friday again to fast? I read that for Lenten fasting you can have one normal meal and two small snacks as long as they are not big enough combined to be one meal. And meat free days, well, you can have fish, margarine, dairy, meat juices, even gravy w/ little bitty chunks of meat. I'm pretty sure that I'll follow my fasting rules for fasting days: no food, only juices for energy/ sugar; and for meat free days, I'll revert to vegetarian days where I ate dairy, but steered clear of anything blatenlty meat or with meat, i.e. something made with beef bouillon is still beef and gravy is WAY meat.

I haven't really fasted at all in a while, so this should be interesting. I'm a bit excited. I'm also excited that there are other people here in country doing this too. Ah Bulgaria, how you've changed my life. I'm not Catholic, but Lent isn't a concept contrived by the Catholic church, even though most Americans see it that way. Even so, my notion of fasting is a bit different perhaps. I grew up raised to think fasting should be tough, like nearly impossible so that you have to REALLY lean on God tough. The goal is to be closer to God. You should not whine or complain, if possible don't even talk about it, in order to avoid martyr syndrome. But there should always be someone who will hold you accountable to your fast, and to encourage you in it.

I mentioned a box of books right? Well, I was thinking yesterday about giving up TV for Lent. Then when that box of books came in (from my sister Susan Barber at Christ Church - YEAH for Susan, the only person beside my mom who ever sends me stuff and we weren't even that close!!!!) I took it as clear confirmation that I should be wasting less time and spending more time in devotion (and lesson planning). So with this slew of books, I should have plenty to do the next 40 not Sunday days (btw, I'm not going to watch TV on Sundays even though it's allowed, because well, I don't reckon watching TV is really participating in the celebration of the ressurrection of Christ). I don't think that not turning on the TV will be so difficult; rather, the difficulty lies in being faithful to the logic behind it. The fasting and meatless days might be a challenge, but I WELCOME the challenge. Bring it on. Let's gitterdone!

aigh, i'm gonna have me a lil snackche, watch my last few bits of TV, and dig back into some good reads. oh, and plan lessons, why do i keep forgetting that part?

oh, the ucky day part: the weather here is miserable. I waded home in two inches of SLUSH. It rained, sleeted, snowed, rained, snowed, sleeted all day. It was gross. good day: I GOT A PACKAGE!!